Scandal: noun. something that is shocking, upsetting, or unacceptable
Yes, I'm a Gladiator on Thursday nights! Part 2 of Season 3 is back and last night's episode was fire (cue up the Ohio Players)! I'm amazed at how the character Olivia Pope (loosely based on Judy Smith) effortlessly diffuses major scandals that would cause most to either have a nervous breakdown or become a recluse. The moment when people base the nature of your character on one pivotal moment, without having knowledge of events that led up to that moment, is NOT a fun experience. It's said that nothing lasts forever and most people are forgetters, so the "scandalized" are usually able to rise (Fitz maybe, but not Sally) from the ashes of demise within a few months or years. Next time you're at the grocery store, scan magazine covers for Paula Dean! ☹
As I thought further about the idea of scandal, I came to the conclusion that "why" is the most important factor. The root of scandal is deceit. Lying leads to betrayal and it's one thing to betray another, but a true tragedy to betray yourself. Honestly, I'm preaching to the choir and the mirror! Yes, I've been scandalized but I've unfortunately created a few scandals exclusively for me. "You say you want someone to love you/but you don't love yourself". The opening line of "Show and Tell" was based on the 2004 version of me. During that time, I drifted through 2 years of my life in a scandalous haze. I was a year out of college trying to find my place in the world, mentally unclear about the life I wanted to create, and the definition of love. I pointed fingers, cried "victim" and seeped into dark places. Ultimately, there was no one to blame but myself because I wasn't honest with me about my value and needs. However, something good came out of that scandalous time - the real me. The me who sings and writes unapologetically from personal experience. The me who knows that she's an ever-evolving walking contradiction seeking her best life. The me who loves herself fiercely and strives to make each day better than before. What's scandalous about that?